A lecture. The panther blinks disdainfully at this, but doesn't protest beyond a kittenish snort. Of course Li Lianhua doesn't like it. He sounds terrible, which has happened before. He's trying, with the mental descendant of martial skill, not to let it fully touch him through the deployment of words. Di Feisheng can't decide if this is an improvement or more of the same. They are very close to being in agreement, anyway. There's something mollifying in that, but Di Feisheng can't quite take it to heart.
Does Li Lianhua know why this feels like such a meaningless betrayal? Why he's spending his time in these baleful vigils? What lecture does he even think Di Feisheng could give about something that seems to be blind bad luck rather than willful self-despite. If Li Lianhua is putting words in the mouth of a big cat he's got things all wrong. Even the staring is completely lacking in recrimination, for once.
What's with the cute disdain? Isn't that what the panther's inevitable watchful presence is meant to be? A lecture on not allowing some random stupid illness to defeat him in the end, on finding a way to cure himself with force of will alone, on never simply accepting the gains and losses fate hands out? The man is remarkably patient on this, or perhaps just characteristically tenacious, but Li Lianhua remains a poor student. He may know the right things to want these days, but knowing is only half the battle. And Li Lianhua is still so tired of battles.
He's also tired of being a disappointment. There does not need to be recrimination in the eyes of a big cat for Li Lianhua to find plenty within himself. His smile curls bitterly, and there's a sharpness underpinning the usual barbed levity between them that is woefully misdirected.
"You must be pretty bored of this by now. Next time I'll find something to die of that's more convenient for you to fight, alright?"
Maybe Li Lianhua wasn't so wrong to be putting words in a panther's jaws after all; the unlooked-for bitterness leaves Di Feisheng frustrated by the limitations on what he can convey, and the self-imposed stricture on talking like this isn't even mostly to blame. What backs up his throat isn't a martial lecture but simply the acrid familiarity of fear. Of being made to be afraid. An exhausting vigil, an almost superstitious dread not just of loss but the reminder of powerlessness. If it were any kind of secret, he'd be dying of the unutterability too.
He's here for commiseration. And general worry, and warding off untimely ends through some kind of apotropaic quality, but the commiseration is a big one and it's as compelling as its lack is vexing. Calling it boring just makes him bunch himself up to spring, either away or to wipe the poisoned smile off Li Lianhua's dear face. In lieu of either argument, escape, or unseemly violence against an invalid he turns the kinetic energy to a very purposeful prowl, tucking his ears and whiskers and ramming the bed with his shoulder. Somewhere between a demanding housecat and a shark looking to sink a raft. TRY AGAIN.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2025-03-24 10:34 pm (UTC)kittenishsnort. Of course Li Lianhua doesn't like it. He sounds terrible, which has happened before. He's trying, with the mental descendant of martial skill, not to let it fully touch him through the deployment of words. Di Feisheng can't decide if this is an improvement or more of the same. They are very close to being in agreement, anyway. There's something mollifying in that, but Di Feisheng can't quite take it to heart.Does Li Lianhua know why this feels like such a meaningless betrayal? Why he's spending his time in these baleful vigils? What lecture does he even think Di Feisheng could give about something that seems to be blind bad luck rather than willful self-despite. If Li Lianhua is putting words in the mouth of a big cat he's got things all wrong. Even the staring is completely lacking in recrimination, for once.
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Date: 2025-05-04 09:00 pm (UTC)cutedisdain? Isn't that what the panther's inevitable watchful presence is meant to be? A lecture on not allowing some random stupid illness to defeat him in the end, on finding a way to cure himself with force of will alone, on never simply accepting the gains and losses fate hands out? The man is remarkably patient on this, or perhaps just characteristically tenacious, but Li Lianhua remains a poor student. He may know the right things to want these days, but knowing is only half the battle. And Li Lianhua is still so tired of battles.He's also tired of being a disappointment. There does not need to be recrimination in the eyes of a big cat for Li Lianhua to find plenty within himself. His smile curls bitterly, and there's a sharpness underpinning the usual barbed levity between them that is woefully misdirected.
"You must be pretty bored of this by now. Next time I'll find something to die of that's more convenient for you to fight, alright?"
no subject
Date: 2025-05-31 11:54 pm (UTC)He's here for commiseration. And general worry, and warding off untimely ends through some kind of apotropaic quality, but the commiseration is a big one and it's as compelling as its lack is vexing. Calling it boring just makes him bunch himself up to spring, either away or to wipe the poisoned smile off Li Lianhua's
dearface. In lieu of either argument, escape, or unseemly violence against an invalid he turns the kinetic energy to a very purposeful prowl, tucking his ears and whiskers and ramming the bed with his shoulder. Somewhere between a demanding housecat and a shark looking to sink a raft.TRY AGAIN.